MotivateMeLee

Pen Therapy

2010-07-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like screaming? Have you ever gotten upset with someone to the point of not wanting to speak to them ever again?
Everyone gets upset from time to time. Everyone needs to "Vent" every once in awhile. It's nothing abnormal. Anger isn't anything to hide from or ignore. But what's most important here is how we react to our anger.
And here's where pen therapy comes in. Pen therapy can be used with relatives, associates, pen pals, prison pen pals, anyone. This type of therapy can be reserved for a badgering school teacher, a nagging boss, or maybe an annoying friend.
Pen therapy is easy, refreshing, and sometimes time consuming.
You want to know how it works? Well, first of all, you grab a pen and a sheet of paper. Or maybe you can grab a few sheets of paper. Second, sit think and think about the person you are upset with. Oh, and be sure to be in a place where you will have plenty of peace and quiet. Now, really allow all the things this particular person had done to run through your mind. Allow yourself to FEEL IT! Allow yourself to reach your boiling point. And then . . . . start writing.
Write down everything you'd like to tell them. Don't cut any corners. Don't hold your tongue. If you choose to, throw every bad word that comes to mind into this letter to the person in question. Let it all out!
After you've written your letter, blasting your person of interest, read over it. Then read it again.. You can even read it aloud.
And after you've read your letter a few times, after you've gotten it all out, ball it up, shred it, dispose of it, smile, and move on. You will be amazed. You will be refreshed. This truly is therapy. Pen Therapy. And it works.
DON'T STOP!!!!!!

When Opportunity Knocks

2010-07-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

It's already understood that I'm incarcerated. Yes, I'm in prison, the big brick house, the concrete cage. However, I refuse to allow this situation to sculpt and shape my mind negatively.
The past is beautiful for reflection. There are many lessons to learn from the past, particularly our personal past. But I am not my past. We are not our pasts. Although I'm incarcerated, I enjoy capitalizing on opportunities when they present themselves. Productive, positive opportunities.
Recently I was given the opportunity to be of service to my fellow man. I'm a Mentor in a S.K.I.L.L.S. program, designed to assist mentally challenged inmates in coping with their incarcerations. I actually live in the same room with an individual, who is referred to as my student.
My student is 54 years old and suffers from some serious issues. It's as if every morning, he's born again, remembering little from the day before. He has no G.E.D. He has no incoming funds. He has no marketable skills. He receives no mail from friends or family. And his mental state makes it difficult for him to keep an institution job.
For me to have been given such a level of responsibility in addition to my other responsibilities tells me alot about the person I am today. Years ago there would've been no way that I'd have been able to deal with an individual with such a condition on a regular basis. My patience was too short., My temper was a bit unstable. And my level of compassion wasn't where it should have been. But today is a new day. Years of work on myself have assisted me greatly in learning to care more about myself. And this care and love for myself has allowed me to genuinely care for and love others.
I call my student "Dad", a nickname I give all men over the age of fifty. lol. He trusts me and he has no reason not to.
"Dad" also has something a lot of his more mentally stable peers in prison don't have; he has hope.
"Dad" really wants to learn to drive a vehicle, under any circumstances, I am assisting him in passing the written test when he is released. Who am I to block a man's dreams?
I like "Dad". And I'm thankful for having been presented with such a wonderful, character building, enlightening opportunity.
When opportunity knocks, let's open ourselves, minds, hearts, and souls. And let him in.
DON'T STOP!!!

Too Much Time On My Hands

2010-06-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

I've heard on many occasions that we incarcerated people have all the time in the world to do whatever it is we choose to do. We don't have a care in the world. No utilities, no rent, a free three-meals-per-day. No hassles.
Well, it's a bit more complex than that. Basic medicine, hygiene materials, paper, typing supplies, sweat clothing, phone calls, laundry detergent, laundry machines, etc., are all sold to us. Where I'm located, there are no jobs available, so there is no money coming in.
But I'm going to describe my basic day. I'm a live-in mentor as part of a SKILLS PROGRAM that assists mentally challenged inmates. I wake up at 5:30 AM, take care of my hygiene. I wake my mentally challenged room mate up and prepare him for his trip to breakfast. I watch CNN until breakfast is called.
At 7:30 I type 2 and a half hours, either a few chapters in my latest book, a blog, someone's legal work, someone else' book, or a letter or contract for someone.
10:35-11:15 AM I read (i.e., Public Speaking Today). After lunch, I hit the recreation yard from 12:15-2:30 PM, working out intensely. Tuesdays at 1:30 PM I take a personal development class. 2:30 I receive mail. 4:00-5:00 PM I read. Mondays, I attend and assist within a creative writing class. 7:30 PM everyday, I escort my room mate to pill line to take his medicine.
After my shave and shower, I usually write 1-4 chapters in my latest book, I respond to mail, and create blogs to be posted.
On Thursdays at 6:00 PM I take a Commercial Driving Course. Saturday morning at 7:00 AM I'm in the library assisting individuals with writing and typing until 12:30 PM. In the interim, I'm creating greeting cards, acquiring information from up-to-date publications, and constructing and participating in beneficial courses.
Being in prison is uncomfortable at best, hell-on-earth at worst, but under no circumstances is it a walk in the park. I usually don't have enough time in an incarcerated day to complete tasks I've set out for myself. I'm chasing progress. I have NOT lost. I can NOT lose.
Change is beautiful, possible and necessary. Some people will never take full advantage of their time, regardless of their situations. And on the other hand, some will. At the end of the day, the results of such actions or inactions will speak for themselves. DON'T STOP!!!!!!! I WON'T!!!!!!!!

A Difficult Factor

2010-05-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

If I wanted to learn how to do a proper push-up, it wouldn't be too difficult a task to achieve. I could simply watch someone who knows how to do it correctly. I could read a couple of Men's Health magazines. I could practice under the watchful eye of a fitness expert until i got it right. In short, I could accomplish this with ease.
If I wanted to be able to run 5 laps around a track, yet I had never run around a track, it could be done with a little work. I could acquire some running shoes, a jogging outfit or two, maybe an ipod, and hit the track. The first time I attempted to run, I might not get too far. My heart might try to jump out of my chest. My lungs might begin screaming their own versions of profanity at me. And my muscles might let me know that i should have stretched first.
The second time I hit the track, a little bit more prepared than the first, I'd be bound to get further than I did on my initial trip. The third time, giving it the benefit of the doubt, I might only get as far as I did on my second trip. But, fast forward to my 6Th-10 go at it, and I'd most likely be the proud accomplished runner of at least 5 laps. Really, the most difficult part of this task would be doing it and doing it again. Not very difficult.
Now, turning it up a notch, if I wanted to become an astronaut who had actually walked on the moon, or floated around thousands of miles above the earth, I'd have to put in a lot more work, so to speak. I'd have to learn all kinds of technical processes related to being an astronaut. Extensive training would be an understatement compared to what I'd have to go through. And the time frame involved in me beginning with a dream and ending with me doing the space dance might very well envelop a great portion of my life, especially, if i started now. lol. And none of this is meant to imply that it couldn't be done.
My point here is that attempting to become an astronaut and walking on the moon would be an extremely difficult goal to accomplish. This goal comes with a very high difficulty factor. For the record, all goals come with their own difficulty factors. The severity of the goal creates the degree of the difficulty factor.
Many times people fail, not because the goal was beyond their reach, but because they didn't take into consideration the natural difficulty factor that came with the goal.
Let's take time to assess each of our difficulty factors which come with our goals so as to be able to realistically predict our potential successes and failures, and thus plan accordingly.
This way, we can almost ALWAYS win!
DON'T STOP!!!!!

Maximize That Time

2010-05-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

What are you doing? Just chillin'? Relaxing? Partying? Celebrating? Nothing? Working hard? Keepin' it movin'? Making it happen?
How many people do you know who have goals and plans, big dreams and aspirations? Do you have them? Have you ever sat and thought to yourself about all the goals you'd set for yourself over the course of time?
Sometime we can look back at that 20/20 picture of our past and unfortunately realize that the goals we set for ourselves were not reached. We sometimes painfully reflect on the many tossed dreams, the many discarded yet unfinished projects, the many forgotten aspirations left in our wake. And upon embracing these hurtful incomplete portions of our personal histories, we sometimes begin to lose a bit of our fire. Sometimes such reflections cause us to begin believing that we as people just aren't good enough. Our self esteem is deflated. Our actions become limited. And the goals we now choose to set for ourselves are far less complex or great compared to those in our pasts.
Does this sound rather 'normal'? Why? I think this collective state of affairs is able to affect us the way it does for multiple reasons. However, the one portion of this picture that I want to focus on now is our most valuable asset: OUR TIME! You can't get it back. You can't save any of it and use it later. You can't make it slow down for you and only you. So, I RECOMMEND THAT WE ALL BEGIN PLACING A LOT OF EMPHASIS ON MAXIMIZING ALL OF OUR TIME so as to change this 'normality'.
Sure, we all need time to relax, to celebrate our accomplishments, to sometimes just be still, to share quality time with our loved ones, and so on. But we also might want to balance these things out so as not to unexpectedly realize that we've been wasting A LOT of time. We're habit-forming creatures. We get used to doing things, whether they're good or bad for us. These habits become 'normal' for us.
So, let's maximize our time. Let's make a habit out of maximizing our time. For instance, if we know we're going to be stuck in a hospital waiting room, or a DMV waiting area, or in any kind of position which forces us to be extremely patient for an extended period of time, be sure to have some beneficial literature handy. Read and learn while waiting. Possibly, instead of just chillin' "... because there's nothing else to do," we might want to think about things we NEED to do. And once we've itemized these necessary things, we might want to at least begin specific projects, no matter how small, so that we might be able to rekindle our "hopes" of actually completing them.
Keep in mind, these are the things that WE want to achieve, to complete. So, let's use the majority of our time (our 'free'time) focusing on these things, focusing on completing them. I'm not talking about on the job or while performing tasks written out for us by someone else.
I'm talking about MAXIMIZING the majority of OUR/YOUR FREE TIME.
I guarantee it will result in many many happy feelings. It will be a very wise investment in yourself/ourselves. Utilize OUR/YOUR time to the fullest. And once you make a habit out of doing so, I ask that you DON'T STOP!!!
I also ask that you don't stop sending, friends, loved ones and family to this blog. Thank you.

Prison E-Pals

2010-04-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

Hi, my prison e-pals! Most likely we all know at this point in time that your e-pal Damian Lee is in prison, and I'm doing what is called 'pushing my pen.' I push my pen so as to attempt to boost the morale of anyone who may be in need of a boost. And if it becomes possible at any point in time for me to assist others in need, in light of my circumstances, my heart jumps rapidly for a moment or two.
I'd like to take this time to show my appreciation for every person, every institution, every fund, every service provider, every-one, who has the best interest of the reformed (or becoming-informed-by-choice) convicted and incarcerated individual at heart. And when I think of giving thanks for these people, of course Connie from (Immaculateconnections.net) stands out in my mind.
Connie tends to be extremely receptive to knew ideas, to learning knew ways to do things. She is consistently motivated to assist those who are incarcerated and striving to correct their previous wrongs in connecting with their families; with locating new pen pals who will be willing to write a prisoner; to connecting them with their loved ones; to finding out ways to practically assist them, even while they are still incarcerated.
I'm going to go out on a limb for Connie at this time and mention the fact that she is open to all assistance from anyone who understands where she's coming from. She's open to all ideas, suggestions, and ideas. Her resources are limited, but her heart, drive, and sincerity are HUGE!
Do you have loved ones who are incarcerated and striving to rectify their lives? So does Connie. You may have something in common.
Do you have a loved one who is incarcerated, and has been on the path to positive progress for so long that you are no longer capable of assisting them due to a lack of understanding of the details related to the things they are doing? So does Connie. You may have something in common.
Do you want to help your incarcerated loved one, or friend, but you just can't seem to figure out how? So does Connie. Brainstorm with Connie.
Post your comments on this blog spot. Contact Connie.
People make mistakes. People sometimes have harder heads than others. Sometimes it takes a little longer for people to come around, to "...get it right." I'm one of those people. I've been "everything wrong' for most of my life, but i finally came to my senses over the course of this past seven years of incarceration. Being treated like a piece of something most people only wish to quickly get rid of for years tends to do something to a person. It's done something for me.
I greatly appreciate all the support received from my family and loved ones, but this one's exclusively written for Connie, my e-Pal, even while I'm in prison. Since she's assisted me so greatly, I'd like to ask anyone and everyone who has relatives in prison, or friends in prison to assist Connie at ImmaculateConnections. She needs assistance. We need assistance (i.e. reformed convicted people). And we can all assist each other.
Send someone to Immaculate Connections to check out the members advertisements. Go to Immaculate Connections yourself and give Connie some new ideas. Post your ideas and share your thoughts. Send someone to this blog spot, and maybe they'll make a new e-pal.
And if your moving forward, I'd like you to do one thing . . . Please DON'T STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheese Therapy

2010-04-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

I can only speak for myself on this subject based upon my environment, but where i live there are plenty of angry men surrounding me. It amazes me the way individuals can stay angry for such extended periods of time. However, I was once (years ago) one of these individuals, so there is a level of understanding there.
I see frowns and vicious glares so often that these expressions no longer bother me. I also know that many of the men who wear these on-going masks aren't really vicious and mean individuals. Yet there are plenty of them here whose characters match the 'mug.'
It takes energy and effort to maintain a grimace.
"Your face is going to get stuck like that if you keep on frowning," a caring mother might have said.
The energy and effort it takes to keep that piercing mask in tact could be used for other things. The facial muscles grow used to such an expression and the outward characteristics of ones face, over time, can get "...stuck like that..."
There are also, mainly older, individuals whom I know that have deep frown-like indentations lodged into their faces. Many of these individuals are actually pretty friendly people. But the years of frowning have taken their toll.
Frustrations, stress, and any number of situations could cause a frown on someones face. The amount of time we allow frowns to remain on our faces is the determining factor when it comes to ultimately having a viciously menacing mug permanently attached to an otherwise pleasant, non-intimidating face.
Also, the angry glare additionally affects our attitudes, or reflects our attitudes. And this is when 'Cheese Therapy' can come into play. When an individual smiles brightly before the camera at some event or on some occasion, a crowd, or the photographer, might just yell:
"CHEESE" or "SAY CHEESE!"
This therapy has personally done wonders for me. Cheese Therapy actually consists merely of showing the world 32 white teeth, your teeth. Smile, beam, Cheese for the world. I'm as serious as an angry mug on the face of a so-called thug; smiling, using Cheese Therapy has changed my life!
Smile when you're upset. Smile when you're frustrated. Smile when everything is going wrong. Smile while speaking. Smile when being spoken to. Smile on a sunny day. Smile on a rainy day. And watch how it changes people. Watch how Cheese Therapy changes your own attitude.
And if ultimately your face is forced "...to get stuck like that....," let the way it gets stuck be in a brilliant beautiful smile.
Say, "Cheese!"
It's therapy. It works.

Family Man

2010-04-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

If I were to fall in love with a woman, marry her, have a baby by her, many lives would immediately change. My one brother and my two sisters would become a little bit more than just that. My brother would now be the uncle of his new-born niece or nephew. My sister would become an aunt. Aunt-sister (Smile). My mother would become a grandmother. My grandmother would become a great-grandmother (a few times over as it stands). My father would become a grandfather. My grandfather would become a great-grandfather.
Mind you, all i would've done is made a baby, bought a new life into the world. Of course I wouldn't simply be Damian Lee any longer, either. I'd be a father. Thus, I'd have to become a father figure. Uncle-brother might be encouraged to become the role model he should be for his nephew or niece. If sis and bro had children of their own at this point in time, their children would become the cousins of my child.
So, falling in love, marrying and winding up with children would change many lives, whether I preferred it to or not. The changes which would've occurred couldn't possibly be ignored if I were in my right mind.
So, a grandmother and grandfather would have become a great-grandmother and great-grandfather; a mother and father would have become a grandmother and grandfather; Sisters would have become aunts; a brother would have become an uncle; and if my brother and sisters had children, their children would have become cousins to my child; and i would have become a father.
Do you see the connections there? These connections aren't by choice. They aren't by chance. They are a part of all families, whether ignored or not. And these connections also create obligations. The obligations, the connections, tend to lead to the formation of an unspoken-but-understood bond between family members...., in a perfect world of course.
These connections are based on blood relations. These bonds aren't determined by actions or inactions. They are based on blood! There is no wrong or correct way to be bound by blood. Hence the unconditional love; not a love conditioned on whether we are disappointed with each other or not; not determined by mistakes or the successes made by one's blood; not determined by anything other than the fact that, that family understands that they are all connected, like it or not, and none of them had anything to do with it.
Tell Mom you love her. Tell Dad you love him. Tell Sis you love her. Tell Bro you love him. Tell your nieces and nephews you love them. Tell Grandma and Grandpa you love them. Tell Great-Grandma and Grandpa you love them. Tell your children you love them. And tell them all regularly.
I miss and love my family......, MAN!
DON'T STOP!

Freedom Cell

2010-04-09T13:05:00.000-07:00

Freedom! Who doesn't crave it? Who doesn't wish, hope, and pray for a steady flow of freedom? Unhindered in any fashion or form.
Think about it. Freedom of physical movement. Freedom from unjust practices and policies. Freedom from pain and misery. Freedom from disappointment and despair. Freedom from arguments and serious misunderstandings.
Freedom from prejudices and stereotypes. Freedom to do one's own will.
Freedom to acquire and hold property free and clear of any encumbrances.
Freedom to provide for one's own. Freedom of speech. Freedom!
"I wish i were free!"
We've heard it so many times. We hear it on a daily basis. We want it, crave it, need it. But this elusive 'Freedom' always seems to evade us, masterfully dancing out of reach, only but a few centimeters or so at times.
This freedom seems to come with an unspoken but understood price. And many times, on many occasions, we aren't willing to pay the price, or prices, that jointly address us when we are presented with an opportunity to be free.
There's a cell, something like my physical prison cell, that resides inside of us all.
"No, he's about to go there!"
I sure am.
We wish we "....hadn't said that" while participating in a group discussion. We wish we could slow down on the pills, maybe, the drinks, the late night snacks. We wish we could remain focused long enough to "...make it happen."
We wish our interest span would stop being so short. We wish we could muster the necessary energy to go that extra mile. We wish we could stop getting upset to the point of becoming illogical. We wish we could stop making permanent decisions based on temporary situations. We wish, we wish, we wish.
As odd as it may be, many of these things we wish we could do most are the things that we are free to do. We're free to stop, to start, to slow down, to speed up. However, we "...just can't seem to do it!" So in a sense, we've created our own cells..., even while being free.
In many respects I'm free as a bird. Free to create, to imagine, to learn, to listen, to evaluate, to teach, to correct previous internal wrongs, to inspire, to attempt to make sure no one ever has to go through the things I went through if I can help it.
But I'm in a cell. Smile.
DON'T STOP! YOU BETTER NOT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!

I Woke Up This Morning

2010-04-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

A guy rolled past me one morning, nonchalantly pushing himself along in his wheelchair. He had a tattoo just below his eye. curly hair and an expression of possible content on his face. I'd have offered to assist him, but I've seen him on numerous occasions. He's fine with his disability. He keeps moving, as if floating through his own sculpted liquid reality in which he's the only individual capable of nodding his head to the tunes he alone hears. He appears to be confident, driven and out-going.
The only things that stand out regarding this picture is the fact that it was freezing outside, snowing, and a wicked wind was blowing in multiple directions at once. This guy has only one arm and one leg. And yet he's incarcerated, allowed to push himself along through a blizzard.
"What could he have possibly done?" I asked myself. "Who could he be a threat to?" My goodness, I thought to myself.
I hear complaints. I see miserable expressions on the faces of men who's limbs are all in tact. Who's organs and joints all function properly. And though I was born in December, I can't stand the cold. But if I had one complaint; if I'd planned on balling my face up as i trudged to the eating area, known as the 'Chow Hall," that day, those plans were crushed as I stared at the man, one of my previous room mates had once offensively called 'Half-a-Body.'
I was amazed at the look on this disabled man's face, the drive in his eyes, his obvious belief in things better to come.
This experience forced me to reflect upon the great blessing that had been bestowed upon me that day.
"Man," I told myself... "I woke up this morning. . ., fully functional."
DON'T STOP! DON'T YOU DARE STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cry The Blues?

2010-03-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

Cry the blues? For what! Nothing's ever what we thought it was, or would be. The expected gift is usually not quite what we'd hoped for. The show of sentiment, or affection expressed by the significant other, sometimes lacks just a little bit of something more we felt should've been wedged in there. The much-needed letter of endearment, or notice of importance, somehow figures out a way to arrive late. Our heads are just about to reach the surface long enough to raise them above water, and uh-oh, here comes another wave. Another famine. Another war, Another bill. Another emergency. Another tax. Another friend indeed in dire need... Another reason to, you guessed it, cry the blues.
OK, let's complain. Let's whine. Let's procrastinate. Let's wait for a little longer. Let's be depressed. Let's ask for the absolute best while settling for much less. Let's wait for someone else to succeed before we try something similar.
"It's their fault."
Who's? Who's fault is it?
My friends, my wife's my mother's, the government's, Global warming, the guy who always plays his music too loud while cruising by, the miserable old dog who growls at us, the time we should've done something in the past, but didn't. It's his/your/their/that experiences fault.
Alright now, allow yourselves to really feel it. Bawl, cry, sob, wail until it all tearfully streams out. Let it out. Acknowledge it. Feel it some more. Never forget it.. Cry those serious blues. And then stop!
Now, plant both your feet firmly in the dirt. With determination and focus, put one foot in front of the other. Repeat this process over and over again without distraction....AND DON'T STOP!

Meet Damian Lee

2010-03-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

Challenges, trails, tribulations, I've had a little more than my fair share. Restrictions pertaining to my movements physically, I've been forced out of necessity to adapt to, and ultimately reluctantly accept. My associates are greatly compromised. My privacy is legitimately and regularly invaded as a social fact. And though I'm a straight male it is 'illegal' in this environment to engage any woman.
Some would consider this unfortunate environment the equivalent to Hell on this earth......, but not I. I'm Damian Lee, a two-time felony offender, the acceptor of my actions, the understander of the results of such actions. I'm in understanding to the fact that I wasn't simply kidnapped and thrown into this loud, unruly, respect-less environment. No indeed. I broke what is commonly referred to as 'The law', and I'm paying for it. Seven years inside and counting. . . . I still feel remorse. I've maximized every bit of this time. I'm consistently developing. My star shines with future potential capable of making a mockery of the sun.
With this understanding, I continue to radiate, to learn, to grow, to seek more knew understandings, to smile, to think, to feel . . . to be. . . the improved version of the once regretful soul commonly referred to as . . . Damian Lee.